First off...I have never claimed to be a writer and although I have dabbled a bit in the past, it has never been an outlet that has given me much creative release. Recently writing music has lost a little of the satisfaction that it used to give me, so I figured I would give this a shot. Oddly enough the inspiration for this was given to me from two former friends who have both recently released their own blogs which I have very much enjoyed reading.
I'm not sure what I am looking to gain from all this. Perhaps a new hobby? Making people laugh/cry/punch babies? Lots of money(please)? A well of inspiration that will sustain me through the long sarcastic months?
I have no clue. The money would be amazing so if you feel the need to send me money please feel free.
And now onto the blogging.
First, the bad...
If I had to summarize this year in a few words it would be that it was one of self reflection and looking more inwardly than I had in the past. Strengths that I never knew I had were thrust to the surface like some sort of confidence rocket and on the same token, weaknesses that I could easily point out to others were suddenly my own. Unfortunately these realizations only came to light in the wake of the ending of a friendship, a relationship and the loss of a dear family member. Not the most ideal way for one to learn but honestly, do you know anyone that has gained wisdom without going through something that...well...sucked?
Most of this year has been me adapting to one change or another. The ending of the friendship with my best friend; anger, frustration. For months after that I felt that so angry at him for being such a weak person who refused to deal with issues that I would bring to the surface and his way of dealing with things were to just get pissy. It wasn't until the middle of the year I realized that maybe I should have not let the things I found to be frustrating about him get to me and just let them go. Sadly it was too late at this point. I had let my bitterness and the resentment eat away the foundation of the friendship to the point that whenever we hung out it seemed that I was always looking for something to call him out on. I had lost sight of why we became friends in the first place. For that I am truly sorry.
Next on the list was the loss of my father. Technically he was my grandfather but the man raised me, he was my father. He had been battling lung cancer and emphysema for the last 2 years and this year it finally took him in late June. It has been 6 months since his passing and I still forget he is gone. I will wake up in the morning with the notion that I am going to give him a call and take him out to eat but then realize that I would look quite silly and insensitive if I were to call his widow and ask to speak with him. I really do not have much to say about this part of the year since I honestly don't think I have started to deal with it yet. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Most recently the relationship I had been in for almost 5 years ended. Anyone who knows me pretty much knows the story so I don't feel the need to type it all out, but its safe to say that it has not been an easy road to traverse and in fact I still fall off the path.
Now for the good...
Scotch. I had always considered it to be an old mans drink. I had always been a beer drinker for the most part until I had a glass of Brora Single Malt, aged 30 years. It made my taste buds stand up and applaud.
I like scotch now.
Winston. I got a kitten. He is badass.
Midtown. I eventually escaped the hell of Douglasville and moved to the city. I never thought much of the location of where I lived in the past but after moving here and having my office by less than half a mile away, I will forever be an "ITP" guy.
Magnitude of Geekdom. World of Warcraft: Cataclysm.
Level 85.
General goodness. I'm still alive. I have a good job considering the state of things. I have a lot of things to be thankful for although it is easy to loose sight of what you do have as opposed to what you don't.
2010...you have been a bitch.
And now to end this on a note that makes me smile.
A few months back my friend Justin came over to challenge me in drinking. ...I'm Irish. During the course of the night I was fucking around on my newly purchased webcam and found an effect that he just seemed to love. Please enjoy. Ringtones available upon request.
(Sorry Justin)
-McDurp
